Are your children saved?
If you are doing your job well, your children will love God, hate sin, and know some scripture. Read on for advice on how to make this a reality for your children.
Children need:
1. Discipline and boundaries
Above all, teach your children to respect their parents. You are their prototype for a parental figure, and the way you act toward them will become the way they expect God, their heavenly Parent, to treat them. Even if subconsciously.
A parent is a starter kit for understanding God’s role in our lives. Children who have cruel fathers are likely to perceive God as cruel, as God is a father figure. Our ability to form a relationship with God is tied to our ability to form a healthy relationship with our parents. People who had neglectful, abusive, or absent parents will often have a harder time coming to know the one true all-loving God who wants to adopt us. Don’t be the reason a little one stumbles.
God disciplines his children, and so should you.
“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.”
Proverbs 29:17 NIV
I am not condoning corporal punishment, like spanking or hitting children. But setting boundaries is important. Setting clear consequences for crossing those boundaries is important. And *following through* on those consequences *every single time* is vital. Show your children consistent boundaries and they will feel more secure for it.
2. The Importance of the Word
The Bible is the most important book you can read to your children. It is the living Word, a text that will grow with them and help guide them through life. In order to introduce the Bible at a young age, I highly recommend investing in a storybook Bible. This presents the stories of the Bible in chronological order, in language which makes the narrative much easier to understand. (The real Old Testament jumps all around in time, making it somewhat hard to follow.)
We have a few storybook Bibles, but my favorite is this set:
This book is ideal for ages 1 through 13. I have to say, I personally got a lot out of reading it. The language stays true to the Bible, more than most other storybook Bibles. I highly recommend it. My children love reading it!
3. Attention and Love
Shower your children with attention and love. Give freely of yourself and your time to them. Teach them that true treasure in life is *love*, not money or toys.
Yes, parents are entitled to time to themselves, I would never suggest that parents not take breaks from giving attention to their kids. Breaks are essential so you don’t burn out. But when you lavish love and attention on your children, be in it 100%. Don’t have your phone in your hand. Look right in their eyes and let your children know that they are your treasure. Your priority. More important than social media.
4. Godly Friends
Children can be very unkind to each other. Ungodly parents often raise disrespectful children who will be a bad influence on your (hopefully) godly children. This is one reason that belonging to a thriving church community is essential. Help your children make connections with godly children so they will have good, kind friends.
Teach your children that they deserve to be treated with respect. Teach them to stand up for themselves [verbally, not physically] when others cross boundaries. That way, when their friend suggests a terrible idea to them, your child will be brave enough to say “No thanks.”
5. Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a very powerful tool for parents. It is a great motivator. If you make an effort to praise the good deeds your child performs, you will encourage them to do more good deeds. If your child has chronically bad behavior, search for even the smallest opportunities to praise them. Build them up gradually over time until they are making good choices more often.
Conversely, when your child breaks the rules or makes a bad choice, don’t respond with rage, but stick to disappointment. Show them that you are disappointed in their choices. Letting your child know that you expect better from them is very powerful, because it encourages them to strive to do better. It also shows them that they they are capable of doing better, and it shows them that you believe in their goodness.
6. Guidance
Don’t teach your children that they can become whatever they want in life. Teach them instead to seek God’s plan for their life. Our society glorifies the individual, but that leads to self worship. Teach your child to pray that God’s will is done in their life. Teach them surrender. Teach them that God is the #1 priority, and their own desires come second. This doesn’t mean forcing your child into seminary, or forcing a life upon them that they won’t like. It means helping your child to see that the life God has planned for them is better than any plan they can make for themselves. God gave them certain gifts, talents, desires, passions – and He has a plan for your child that is in line with the gifts and desires they have.
Important tip:
Demonstrating control over your emotions (anger, for example) is also very important. If you teach your child that their bad behavior can compel you to also display bad behavior, they will revel in that power over you. Stay in control of your anger when disciplining your child. That is the most important thing. If you are out of control angry, take a break before returning to address the situation.